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So I'm skipping the ol' hometown festival for the first time ever, I'm quitting a job I've had for six years, and I'm really sucky about answering my phone. Cause for alarm? Perhaps, but honestly I'm just worn out. I'm a simple person who enjoys a simple life. Some people would be very happy to randomly interview their favorite athletes...I shockingly would rather watch them on tv than ask cliche questions. I do like shaking their hands if I like them; otherwise, I hate gathering audio. I don't even like ging to games to watch...I'd rather play.
It's not official yet, as my bosses are reluctant to let me walk peacefully. They're taking a hard stance on it, of making me feel guilty about the commitments I made and fought for over the last 19 months. I feel like I took care of all that, but it seems like I'm the only one who feels that way.
It's a point of little return. One of the people designated to replace me already wants me out, and has for quite a while. So coming back would mean some bitterness between staff members. I also might need to repay some money to the station for advertising done for the various programming changes I've made. That would suck. Things shouldn't get to that point, but I'm already being called out for poor judgement and irrational decision-making, so who knows.
I have nothing new planned...I just want more time to myself. I think I'm being talked into staying on until I get fired when Clearchannel makes their next round of cuts...but whatever. Staying on would be hard to do, and I'd probably just quit at the first sign of trouble. I don't want to do it anymore...not the attitude anyone wants from one of their employees.
Live from a bathroom in Wal Mart...I'm in Nashville. Bonnaroo tomorrow! I am only half done with my vacation, weird as that sounds.
This is why I try to keep a day a weekend off to just sleep or something. Friday nights are wasted because I'm tired by 9. Saturdays are my screw-around or work days because I have nothing else going on. Sundays are rest days. They need to be. Today I got bored and cleaned, but even that was bordering on necessary because my room was such a mess.
I think I like someone too, you know, outside of all the people I already like as friends. No, I actually think I really like someone. Not sure if that's breaking news or what, but it's been awhile since I've been more than passively interested in someone, so I think I'll see what happens. Why not?
I'm getting closer and closer to the Las Vegas/Bonnaroo Summer of Epic Awesomeness combo platter, and let me tell you that it's scary to think of how much fun this could be. Vegas itself is a magical city full of things for me to do, people to see, scenes to photograph... and Bonnaroo has some of my favorite bands playing this year. Last year's won't be beat--my only regret was staying in the mosh pit too long on Saturday morning--but I'll die with memories of seeing Metallica, Pearl Jam and Willie Nelson from the front row. I know the last time I went to Vegas, it gave me some perspective on my life at that point and it led me to move home, even after nearly moving closer to Vegas (Los Angeles). Bonnaroo last year made the rest of my summer surreal. I was amazingly happy for about three or four months. Work has dulled that happiness since then, with both jobs full of stress and repetition... and since work consumes my life, it's inevitable. But hopefully, the 12 days away from my life will help me regain some of that happiness and perspective I haven't had lately. I see myself in the mirror, out of shape and clearly in need to a break. I'm exhausted physically, mentally, and spiritually. Sleep can only keep me going for the day... it doesn't even recharge me like it should. I just wake up and go go go. The weekends don't require much sleep, so I wake up every two hours and sneak in some writing time.
I shouldn't say that work makes me unhappy, necessarily. I've been in radio for nearly six years and it's given me opportunities and friends that would have never happened without it. Every new wave of cuts makes me realize that I would miss it, but I think that I'm finally at the point of acceptance if it does happen. I'm really good at things that the business doesn't need anymore--people who can multi-task, people who are proud of their work, and people who can organize really, really well. This sounds retarded, but I think within a few years I will be completely replaced with automation. My proof is that my job right now is to automate as much of my job as possible, to which I've done awesome at. The live stuff we still run is the last thing I have to hold on to, but that too will disappear once people can't afford to sponsor those broadcasts. Terrestrial radio will become satellite radio... each format will sound exactly the same, and the only thing that will be different are the ads between songs and show segments, in each city across America. I don't think they can do much more damage than they have to local radio, but I'm also really naive and tend to speak my mind about things before having all the facts. This is why I get in trouble. Hell, writing this probably just pissed someone off in a corporate office. But it doesn't bother me like it used to... I'm not insecure about my job or my role. I just accept that I get to do this cool job for a while longer, and when I'm no longer needed I'll have about a decade of experience in a field that sadly has become a mascot for the troubling economy, the job cutbacks, the stripping down of the small things that made the job fun in the first place, and the obvious sufferer in all of this... not the people out of work, not the people losing money... but the customer, who now has a lesser product to advertise on and listen to. I feel particularly bad for the salespeople who have to sell this crap... you have to work harder to sell a national product to Joe's Farm and Barn store in rural Wisconsin, and all they want is their business associated with something local. That's just how we are around here.
Anyways, I'm not a sales person and I'm not management. I don't know what's best for anything in the world, obviously, because I can barely take care of myself. But I can't see how it's any better to strip down a product to its core and expect to sell it with the same profits as before... it's like nobody realizes that cutting back on spending with a business gives you less ability and flexibility to perform in a marketplace. There is a point you need to be efficient, but there's a difference between driving a hybrid and driving a stripped-out Pontiac Sunbird. Gas mileage may be the same, but nobody's buying your stripped-down hunk of crap. Unless it's the only thing left, in which case they may just ride the bus or walk anyways.
I obviously have too much on my mind to stay awake any longer... six hours from now I begin another day. Here's to an epic summer!
Also, I need to seriously figure out what to do with my life. I'm 1/3 of the way through and I have no idea what I want to do.
June 5-8 : Las Vegas, NV
June 9 : Madison, WI
June 10-14 : Manchester, TN (Bonnaroo)
June 15 : Travel day
June 25-28 : Cadott, WI (Country Fest)
June 25-July 9 : Milwaukee, WI (Summerfest)
July 16-19 : Cadott, WI (Rock Fest)
Sprinkle in Brewers games on the weekends, and you can gather that I'm going to be a busy Jimmie this summer. I also will be heading to Kentucky in August and somewhere else in October (not sure where yet). So that's what I'm up to these days. Work work work... and then in June it gets crazy.
I need hobbies.
...well, more than usual.
I don't feel any older.
1. Even though I'm hardly a part of her life, I'm really happy for Kristy and her new baby girl, Alexis.
2. I was described by a girl I was hanging out with for a while as "too touchy-feely." I have no idea what that means. I think it's code for "go away, fat ass."
3. My new job = win.
4. My old job = fail.
5. My car was described by my mechanic today as a death trap. Told me to quit driving it. I really, really wish I could.
And that's all for now. I told you it was a quick update. I gotta go to bed, though.
--
i start work this morning in 3 hours. i already have the new job jitters, and i can't sleep. this happened before my last new job at steve and barry's too. target doesn't count because, well, i knew it was for a very temporary time. i wasn't going to get very attached to that job. s&b was different, mostly because i didn't want to suck and make one of my best friends look like an asshole.
so, today is huge. it'll be easy, but it'll be important. i have a busy week either way, and the easier the start to my new job, the better i will be on the last busy week at clearchannel-ec for the spring. radio stuff, still doing it, and a lot of it. i have 37.5 hours of on-the-air time (5.5 hours on the overnights on B95 m-f plus 10 hours each weekend split between B and Z100). i still get to manage things on the am station. i still get to be a pain in the ass to my bosses, with my long, rambling emails and my big mouth. so, busy is underselling what my life becomes in 3 hours.
phone post complete! sleeeeeep time.
*yawn*
Time to go to work.
April 2nd: Jimmie enters his mid-20's.
http://www.bonnaroo.com/artists.asp
- 1 of my all-time favorite bands, Coheed and Cambria
- Eau Claire's own Bon Iver
- I have a "top 250" iTunes list that I update every month with my favorite songs. I have a strict limit of two songs per artist, so I don't load up with the flavor of the month. Here are the Bonnaroo artists on it:
Coheed and Cambria (2), Bon Iver, Beastie Boys, The Mars Volta (2), TV on the Radio (2), Yeah Yeah Yeahs, The Decemberists
So I can knock out all of those bands (although I've seen The Mars Volta, Bon Iver and Coheed and Cambria at least twice apiece before), plus some other bands I've never seen.
Bruce Springsteen, Nine Inch Nails (I'm not a fan, and I'm kind of hoping it's a headliner so I can skip it), Snoop Dogg (fer shizzle! although I've been to one of his shows already).
I'm excited because I'll be able to see several of my favorite bands instead of geeking myself up for two (Metallica and Pearl Jam). It's not a complete lineup yet, but the opportunity to see a bunch of good bands makes me excited. I have bands I really want to see this year!
I'd say that's a win.
It's not even that big of a hole. I am currently, with penalties, $554.23 behind in loan payments, but considering that's only one months' worth it could be a lot worse. So it's not that bad. But, considering how damn near OCD I can be about paying bills, I constantly feel like I've failed somehow. That's a little sad, but whatever. I like paying my bills on time. It's literally all I have to do to succeed in my life.
But yeah, so new jobby job for Jimmie Jim. That rocks!
Now I look like a DOOD
It has been almost two years since I cut my hair last, and it's so ridiculous now. You ever see that scene on Family Guy where Quagmire is at the bar and he's like, Whoa, Transvestite!? That's how I feel when people mistake me for being a chick. Like, whoa, I'm a dude.
Not only that, but my mom and I now look almost the same, which is really scary. So that kind of did it for me, with the long hair experiment. It was fun, but I think there are people who could use my hair more than I could :) and I'll feel great about donating it for such a great cause.
So yeah. Before and after pictures to come later today.
It's a good week. I can feel it.
One month to pack.
So, for those of you worried I was one of the people cut by Clear Channel... I wasn't. Although a lot of good people were cut yesterday, including one of my favorite network hosts Andrew Siciliano, somehow I managed to stay on.
For those of you who read this from Eau Claire, the only thing that changes is 1400AM. Everything else is all good!
Tonight: Mostly clear, with a low around -21. Wind chill values between -31 and -37. Northwest wind between 8 and 15 mph.
Thursday: Sunny and cold, with a high near -6. Wind chill values between -30 and -40. West northwest wind between 8 and 14 mph.
Thursday Night: Mostly clear, with a low around -27. Wind chill values between -33 and -38. West wind between 3 and 9 mph.
I spent last year all depressed hanging out by myself at home. Not this year. I will be drunken with random strangers and I will not be depressed. Haha!
Year in review forthcoming. Sometime today. Maybe tomorrow. Maybe Friday. Or Saturday.
In one day I've run myself tired. I wanted to work so bad I stayed two hours late and still didn't get everything done. Back to it tomorrow.
Nothing surprising or fun today, except that I think my job security is decent. But, tomorrow night will be a less-than-surprising night in alone with a movie and a case of beer. My entire paycheck is already gone (rent). I'll be in search of that fun exciting day all week though. I feel like it's going to happen soon.
Sleep. I needs it. More adventures tomorrow. Maybe a year in review?
-(1) Miami Dolphins wireless PS2 controller
-(1) box of chocolates
-(1) homemade hot cocoa mix
-(1) airsoft handgun w/10,000 airsoft pellets
- straight cash, homey
Two families down, one to go.
I've been kind of a thoughtless person this year. I don't have any money and can't buy gifts (see: previous post about being double-charged for loan payments). I've spent exactly $40 on gifts this year and that was even probably too much for what I have in my bank account (-$some three-digit number).
Not that my bank account is worth more to me than my friends... but I can't just make gifts and say, here you go! See, I'd be happy if someone sent me a picture made out of macaroni noodles. I'd hang it up. Totally. But if I made something out of macaroni noodles, I'd probably add cheese to it and eat it. Mom always said eat your food, don't play with it.
I hope you millionaire CEO's like patting each other on the back with blank bailout checks. Ridiculous.
The worst part? The second payment does NOT count towards next month, so I STILL have to make next month's payment on top of being out the money I just paid this month. Ridiculous! Are banks that hard-up for cash they're going to start double-charging these loan accounts every month? I was told it won't happen next month, but if it does, they can get a refund to me within 4 to 5 weeks (which is SO much better... ha!) for screwing it up again.
Seriously??! I don't have the money to be pissing around with bank errors. You double-charged ME. I want my money back yesterday! And when I pursued it, as it turns out while I was on hold reading the loan information, in this situation I am entitled to an immediate refund ONLY if the error pays off any INTEREST, and since my second charge pays only principal I can't do anything about it except either wait 8 weeks for a refund and hope it doesn't happen again or forget about it and hope it doesn't happen again.
Two things. One, this sets me back HUGE on a week where I was scraping together change to make this trip happen for work reasons, and ALSO screws me over twice because A/my next check will be reduced to 200something dollars and won't cover my rent and B/I STILL need to make a payment next month... or I default on the loan!
Are you serious?
On top of that, I just got my annual 401k statement. I lost 41% this year, bringing me to a point lower than my investment. Literally just came in the mail this minute.
Screw this economy. Screw it and the people at the top giving themselves bonuses for fucking it up for the retail/media/service workers at the bottom. What a lousy way to close out the year...
I has it. In like fifteen minutes.
I wanted to write tonight that I accomplished the following:
-I read 525 chapters of One Piece. I stick with a manga/anime for 25 chapters or episodes, take a break because I always hate it at first, and then plow through the next 40 or so episodes. If I still hate it, I'm done with it (and there's been a lot of those). One Piece wasn't one of those. I read all the chapters in one week. I'm a sucker for large casts of characters and funny, intelligent stories to tell. Dare I say that One Piece is a better manga than Bleach? I would say that I think it's better written and better drawn to some degree. I have had a better experience with it overall, I guess. But I needed something like that to take my mind off of how boring Bleach has become.
-I'm going to sleep. That's a huge accomplishment!
* * * * *
23 degrees is the high temperature today. Coincidentally, it is 23 degrees right now. Somehow, it feels really warm, because this kid knows that January/February brings those week-and-a-half stretches of -10, -15 degree temperatures and the other morning when it was -2 it instantly acclimated me to the winter. I like to think I'm immune to the cold but it's very unpleasant.
* * * * *
I'm thinking next week I make the official decision to remain in Eau Claire through June. It's a horrible time to move because the economy stinks, there's no jobs I have an inside track towards getting, and it's getting really dumb to keep moving in mid-winter. Last year, it snowed 11 inches and was as cold as -18 over the three days I moved, and the day after I moved back to Eau Claire it snowed almost 20 inches in Madison and a half foot in Eau Claire.
Weird weather note: Madison gets tons of precipitation compared to Eau Claire. Madison/Milwaukee/Southern Wisconsin will get these monster storms that drop a foot or two of snow on the ground, but these same systems will only drop about a half foot of snow in northeastern Illinois and northwestern Wisconsin. Only once or twice will it happen per year that it snows even a foot in Minneapolis/Eau Claire, tops, whereas that happened at least three or four times where I used to live.
Severe summer weather always seems to skirt Madison and Eau Claire. For Madison, I blame it on the lakes. For Eau Claire, I blame it on the fact that a good chunk of the city rests within a "bowl" and atmospheric inversion pushes that crap right over the city. If you don't know what that is, it's something I know almost nothing about, but the humidity/air pressure in the "bowl" part of Eau Claire is different because of the bodies of water and the lower altitude. I might be on to something, because most of the tornadoes in this area happen all around Eau Claire, or the systems containing them break up as they approach West Clairemont Ave.
* * * * *
Someone reminded me that I was 23 yesterday. I frowned at them. I wasn't in the mood to be reminded of an age in which most of my friends and peers are graduating from college or beginning families, while I'm just starting to plan my first move in life. I move around too much. I need to stay put for a little while and think things over. The chances are very likely I'll still be alive for another 50 years, so I can afford to take a year or two to think things through and figure out the best thing to do.
* * * * *
Miami is approaching a crucial game this weekend against San Francisco, one that will determine their playoff fate. The 49ers have been playing awesome lately, and Miami will have to not play like crap this week on offense to win. However, Miami's defense has been fantastic and even with a mostly lame secondary has done a good job all year. Ronnie and Ricky need to combine for a pair of TDs and 150 yards to get Miami over this tough test.
Last year I refused to write about the Dolphins. This year I'm hoping for a more successful December than years prior, because it has been a LONG time since Miami made the postseason.
* * * * *
In Wisconsin, most people are aware of two football teams: the Green Bay Packers and Wisconsin Badgers. They're a combined 12-13 this year. Most people are aware of the state's premiere athletic conference: the WIAC. This conference has basketball powerhouses like UW-Platteville and UW-Stevens Point (although UWSP sucks this year), football factories in UW-La Crosse (a down year) and UW-Whitewater (playing for its second consecutive national title and fourth consecutive Amos Alonzo Stagg bowl game if they win Saturday), and that same school in UW-Whitewater with national championships in other sports, like baseball. The schools are earning some respect lately as UW-Platteville knocked off Bradley, who just played in the NCAA Tournament a couple years back (DIII over DI can happen). Amazing for a non-scholarship division in the NCAA, where the players play for the passion of playing sports and where the majority of athletes are from right here in Wisconsin.
Some people think that Wisconsin doesn't have any elite athletes except for the seemingly endless rows of 6'11" white guys that wind up at Wisconsin or the 320 pound small-town farm-boy offensive lineman that plow the way for 1,000 yard rushers year in and year out. That's sadly mistaken. There is such great competition through the colleges and high schools here in Wisconsin, at least in men's sports, that it seems like any year, anything can happen. Sure, you get schools that dominate a sport for half a decade or something, in both high school and college, but each team gets their turn in the spotlight. In women's sports, I'm kind of saddened that the premiere women's sport in Wisconsin, basketball, produces such lopsided results every weekend. It's such a different beast, especially with the small towns, where one or two good players OR a coach who really stresses the team aspect of the game of basketball can lose maybe one game all year because there are some not-so-great girl's basketball teams in this state. I read the paper and see 80-15 in some of these games and I'm like, seriously, that's not basketball. That's a slaughter.
To be fair, though, my former high school is a girl's basketball juggernaut and of course things look different when your school is winning three state championships in a row under the tutelage of one of the greatest teachers I've ever had (Go Flambeau!). I can't blame the schools that are doing well for this trend of blowout games... all the blame goes on the schools where year in and year out they shell out money for buses to take a group of kids out an hour from home to get stomped in a game they have no business playing in because the program isn't run very well and/or most of the (monetary) attention goes towards whichever football or men's basketball program is the flavor of the year.
I don't write or talk much about this, but moving back to small-town Wisconsin kind of forces you to look at stuff going on around you. I love going to Zorn Arena to help out on a Blugolds broadcast, or finding myself in some remote Wisconsin farm town to watch a high school basketball game, because it wasn't long ago that I was part of it as a player. As an observer, you realize just how important athletic competition is for everyone involved: teachers, fans, players, coaches, communities, the media. Towns rally around a great player or team and an entire town will barely fill five sections of Camp Randall Stadium when their team goes on an unexpected State Championship football run.
It's a great thing. I'm glad to be a part of it. It's what makes my job the funnest thing in the world.
* * * * *
Wondering what else to write. I'm wide awake now. I think I'm gonna go drive around today for fun. I haven't been back home to Cadott in a few days.
3-7 overnight.
1-2 tomorrow.
So... anyone in a warm-weather state want to rent a Jimmie for
I just went to the mall for three and a half hours... and spent like four dollars. Not bad. A dollar per hour. Which is roughly what I make at the radio station.
* * * * *
Getting my car fixed on Monday. The struts are way bad. Like ridiculously bad. Like when I drive all you hear is thumpthumpthump from the back, like there's hookers trapped in the trunk or something (come on, the dead hooker jokes never get old!).
* * * * *
Fortune cookie: You will be reunited with old friends before the month is out. Need proof? I'll be bringing it with me. If a fortune cookie says it must be true, then later this month will be full of fun and possible fornication.
All right, maybe not fornication. It's really cold outside.
* * * * *
How old do you have to be to stop enjoying board games and flying helicopters? Older than me. Much, much older than me. I hope.
* * * * *
Movie night tonight. I love having free movies for a year. I feel like I could become a film critic and say what movies suck and which ones rule, just like everyone else.
Four stars: Nothing.
Three stars: Nothing.
Two and a half stars: Four Christmases (too much Vince Vaughn is annoying), Eagle Eye (kind of a meh storyline)
Two stars: Tropic Thunder (the inside jokes are too much for me)
Minus three stars: Quantam of Solace. What the fuck is a quantam of solace? And why did this movie suck so bad?
* * * * *
My fingers hurt from typing with them crossed. December 26th. Merry Christmas (Boxing Day in Canada, I think).
-decent job (preferably in radio) in a bigger city
-legos
-alcohol
-a roadtrip
-Kristy (no, not wanted as in I-wanna-be-your-everything, wanted as in DAMN I miss my favoritest Kristy!)
-tacos
-a weekend away
What if you combined all of those things and handed THAT to me for Christmas? Wouldn't you like, instantly become Jimmie's new favorite person?
Congratulations to Jimmie Kaska for giving himself the most wonderful gift of all this holiday season: everything he wanted!
On January 26 and 27, I will be calling a pair of high school basketball games in Milwaukee on the radio. The trip down there might be boring, so I'm enlisting the help of one of my good friends who lives in Madison. It's not a roadtrip without booze, so I'm sure both Friday night (in Milwaukee) and Saturday night (near Chicago) will be a blast. In fact, I have plans to hang out with a couple of friends in Milwaukee one night and then catch some UFC PPV the following night. And, if I'm going to be near Chicago, why not drive the fifteen minutes from Chicago Suburb A to Chicago Suburb B to see my favoritest Kristy? Better yet, let's get her, take her out for dinner somewhere and go to Legoland? Yeah! All of that! January 28 will be the culmination of a weekend away--something I've desperately needed since... well, Bonnaroo. Duh.
So how is THAT? Bet you can't top that for an end of the year roadtrip. Because your roadtrip won't have Legos in it.
* * * * *
- Broadcasting live from:an ice cube, Eau Claire, WI
- Damn, I feel:hurryupDecember26th!
Take the first sentence (or two) from the first post of each month of 2008. That's your year in review.
January - I tried to read over last years' posts to come up with an idea of how the year went, and I was absolutely miserable. I stopped reading it because I might be a little smarter now, but I'm less happy and more bitter. I'm much more aware of my shitty situation. And I'm just whining about it all the time.
February - So, I get some free time. The bad news is that I got really sick... now I'm forced to hang out at home.
March - [http://a1135.g.akamai.net/f/1135/18
April - 23. And I don't have much to add. I'm really freaking tired. And I have to work in a few hours. But I'm 23, somehow. In one year, I won't know how in the hell I made it to age 24, either.
May - 44%. No, that's not Bush's approval rating. It's not how much of my brain I use. It's not even my confidence level going into the summer concert season weighing as much as a mid-size SUV. Nope, all of the above have a number much lower than 44%. 44% is what I got on a group project that took a little over 40 hours of my life and time, a project that I provided the idea for, provided the narration for, and provided the technological skills for.
June - Age isn’t a number, it’s a countdown.
July - This is the result of the personality test I took. (Online Dating, Part 1)
August - Confused Jimmie is confused. I'm in a tough spot both work-wise and girl-wise. My bed smells like her, and I can't sleep. I've definitely fallen for her, but not as far as I normally would for someone occupying my bed last night.
September - DAY ONE...TODAY AND TONIGHT
PATCHY FROST WILL BE POSSIBLE ACROSS MUCH OF THE OUTLOOK AREA LATE
TONIGHT AS SKIES CLEAR...WINDS BECOME LIGHT...AND TEMPERATURES
FALL INTO THE UPPER 30S TO AROUND 40 DEGREES. (Weather forecast on September 8)
October - Dear Jane, It has been a long time since I last saw you. Without even having to remember, I can venture to guess that it snowed on that day.
November - It's barely 11 in the morning, and I've already failed today. It's looking more like I won't have much work to do here in Eau Claire, just as I was last year in Madison.
December - It's the first day of the last month... decent timing to just put everything in perspective after downing a half bottle of Nyquil and a case of Red Bull.
* * * * *
Work
It isn't until you get a pink slip when you realize you really love what you do. It's a good thing my pink slip came from my box-bitch job and not the radio station, because everyone I've ever worked with says I was born for radio. Not because of the voice, but because I have a lot of fun and I'm good at whatever it is I do. My voice sucks, for the record. I've always thought that my voice was a cross between a pterodactyl and Dustin Diamond as Screech.
The second job at Target was supposed to be my straight cash, homey job to get to southern Wisconsin or wherever I was going with my life. I have no idea. I still want to move to Texas sometime, but I don't have a good reason to yet other than wanting to. I need a job before I make that kind of journey.
(Why Texas? One, the people are incredibly nice there. Two, if George Bush can be elected president after governing that state, I figure I can become emperor of North America given the political chance. Three, the only real Mexican food in Wisconsin is made by immigrants working at McDonald's... it's only Mexican because it's made by a Mexican).
So that's my holdup. Once I have a grass-is-greener moment I'll be off to the other side. However, I'm fond of my current radio job. I was bitter because they told me to show up less, but I get that there's payroll functions and I can survive on 30 hours a week for a while. Even doing my air shifts this weekend, that was incredibly fun. Z100 on weekends is probably my favorite on-air gig, because I can just be my normal goofy retarded self. B95 is a bit of a stretch for me, because I'm more inclined to rap about my cattle than sing along with a guitar about it while wearing pieces from the set of Brokeback Mountain. But really, all I have to do is pretend to take a Ritalin and talk nice and calm-like.
(oh yeah, this is authentic Jimmie Kaska at his finest. Hopefully this quells the rumors that this blog is written by a not-so-Jimmie Kaska.)
So, basically, I'm just going to smile when I go to work tomorrow, because it's a fun job that I do well at and people identify me with. Can't say that about Target. "You're a box bitch? Hahahaha! I could do that!" compared to "You're on the radio? Man, the only way I could get on the radio is if I stood on it!"
*high five*
That was a good joke. You laughed. Admit it.
* * * * *
Not Work
It wasn't long ago that I wrote about basically two and a half people (me being the half person--I always wrote from someone else's point of view. 'Jimmie is dumb. Jimmie is fat. Jimmie is blah blah blah bullshit.')
Now it's more like one and a half.
I still talk about myself, mostly to the groaning disapproval of my growing fan base (I'm not even famous). This is because I'm selfish, self-centered and lazy. I like to write about myself because I can't even figure myself out (and I think it's funny that a certain person has, for the most part, gotten to the point where I'm comfortably predictable). I read the stuff I've written and I laugh about my misplaced priorities. I laugh at my epic fails. I laugh at how genuinely mindless I've become about important things and trivial things alike. My brain is on autopilot and the computer chip must be damaged, because it's constantly in the gutter. Although I can partially blame this on my super-secret stalker/imaginary friend, because she's really pretty.
My car is a pile of suck. If you had a fishing rod with no fishing line, that would be a trip in my car, metaphorically speaking. Yes, you're at a lake with a fishing pole, but it's not like you're gonna do anything fun. It's like a taco with just meat and cheese. It's like Mexican food in Wisconsin. It's like a rock band with a piccolo. It's like Las Vegas without boobs, casinos or sun. It's like a Wisconsin meal without beer. It's like a football game that ends in a tie. It's like a football game played indoors. It's like milk without chocolate. It's like Illinois without my imaginary friend.
The point is, it is what it is, but it's not very satisfying. As if you didn't get that yet.
* * * * *
Random filler
I've already started writing for a ten-minute podcasted comedy show I'm going to start doing with a couple of my friends/family. Not so much comedy as it is just plain stupidity, but apparently that's comedy. Hell, rubbing your testicles for 45 minutes qualifies as comedy (fuck you, Dane Cook).
I'll post the audio here if I ever finish that project.
* * * * *
All right. Enough rambling. Back to my Legos, dammit!
- Broadcasting live from:Third Ward, Eau Claire, WI
- Damn, I feel:baconated
- Blowing out tweeters with:Dancers at the End of Time - Howlin Rain
What's a guy gotta do to work a second job in this economy?
* * * * *
Still confused. Nine weeks until move-out time. What do I do, dammit? WHAT DO I DO?
...
I'll keep typing that until I figure it out.
LIVEJOURNAL - NOVEMBER 2068
What do I do, dammit? Now I broke my pinky typing that question mark. Damn arthritis!
* * * * *
I decided today to do a process of elimination from jobs I never want to do.
-Proctologist
-Retail box bitch
-Top-40 radio DJ
See, I'm not a masochist because I only do two of those things, and the third requires a college education, which I lack. Well, 160 credits counts for something, I guess. "Here is your award for... well, it's a bill for $13,021.34." Yay Associates' Degree! (Thanks, UWBC, for not kicking me out after my first-semester 0.81 GPA!)
* * * * *
Random thoughts, apparently. I was so gloomy for so long, and then today I realized something about myself while working at a Target on Black Friday: I really REALLY dislike being around large groups of other people, ESPECIALLY people who think you know stuff you don't. It's like being in high school all over again. "Jim, do my math!" No. "Hey, NEW TEAM MEMBER. Where are the lint rollers?" I bet if they were up your... oh, fine. I'm giving in to self-censorship. Just in case my stalker reads this and complains that I don't mention her but I cuss out random old ladies at work.
*disclaimer: I'm always cordial and nice at work! I just like to pretend to be an asshole to attempt to be funny and humorous! Go Target!
* * * * *
Ooops, I said asshole. Sorry, Kristy.
* * * * *
Speaking of stalkers, I have to go write a love letter to my imaginary friend. People do that, right?
...
of course they do. Just like mixing NyQuil and Red Bull is a good idea before Black Friday (and payday). Now I can has Korbel and Coke for dinner.
Off to play Final Fantasy IV on my DS.
(censorship?)
...
(disclaimers?)
...
(Jimmie in a skirt?)
...
(just when you thought this space couldn't get any weirder!)
I'm not sure.
Hmm.
I'd write more lately, you know. I really would. But there's nothing going on in my life beyond starting a part-time job and the fact that my hair is getting really long. No juicy gossip, no friends doing cool things like getting married or having children. Most 23/24-year-olds have a head start on their futures, or are starting families. I skated through six years of college and didn't get a degree, found one thing to do that I liked and can't find a way to make money doing it, threw away my best talents because I didn't want to go down that road (music), and spend an awful lot of time living in the right-now.
I dredge up the past when I need something to talk about. Most of my time's been for reflection and wondering what-if. Sure, you get a lot more cleared up about regrets and you get to re-live some smaller triumphs in your life, and the music you listened to at age 16 sounds cool again. But you don't really go anywhere.
I know all about the evils of dwelling on past failures and successes. They hold people back from what they want so they don't duplicate the bad or replace the good. They hold people back from what they want next. But I've had to re-think my stance on this. I don't know what's next. I don't have a plan or goal in mind for what comes next. When it happens, it happens. It was my biggest apprehension about moving back home, and here I am, in the 715, in the situation I forecasted a year ago when I said screw it, I'm going home to think things through. I've thought it through and come up with nothing.
See, had I stayed, I would be mistakenly believing I was living for the future, when in reality my life's been about getting through the next month, the next paycheck, the next 15-hour shift at work, the next meal, the next hour of every boring, predictable, meaningless day. It doesn't matter whether I'm stacking shoes at the West Towne Mall in Madison or moving boxes at the Target in Eau Claire. It doesn't matter if my car falls apart on Fish Hatchery Road or Cameron Street. It doesn't make any difference that I produce a show I occasionally host in a city of 260,000 or a city of 60,000 on the radio. I'd be in the same boat. I'd have the same problems. I'd still feel as useless as any other time I couldn't figure out what the hell to do with my life.
Why didn't I finish college? Easy. I hated it. Biggest waste of time ever. For two years it was legitimately cool and I busted my ass to graduate from UW-Barron County. Once I hit that peak, things fell apart pretty slowly. Whitewater taught me that I had other priorities. Eau Claire taught me that using college as a cover for making progress in my life... better yet, an excuse for telling people I'm moving forward with my life when in reality I could give a shit less about college is wrong. Those are things I could've figured out for a lot less money, time, and ink cartridges.
Why did I move back home? I knew it'd be easier to fail here than in Madison. Things cost less here. When I inevitably become homeless, there are more people's couches to crash on in this area than around Madison. On top of all that, when I finally figure out what it is I want to do, I'll have no regrets about leaving Eau Claire. I would and do have some regrets about leaving Madison. However, I've only gotten better at what I do (radio), proven my responsibility to more people, and made a few friends along the way.
I don't know if it gets easier or harder when you have no goals in life. It's not like that was my intention, but I started caring less about becoming the best at anything and became content with just staying alive long enough to find something to do that made me happy. Most days I'm comfortable with whatever the hell it is I do. I seem like a nice enough person, which is my only mini-goal on a day-to-day basis. Some days I'm an asshole. Most days I seem like one because I don't communicate well with my phone (mostly because I leave it on vibrate and/or forget it when I go somewhere).
So that's where I'm at. Kind of a pointless wandering type thing I have going on right now. Some people have a job they love. Some people have a family they take care of. Most people have a purpose in getting up every morning. I seriously lack that purpose, and yet I'm not about to throw myself off of any bridges. If anything, I'm innately content with myself and in general feel all right day to day. I pay the bills, I visit people when I can. It's really easy to live my life (except for the obesity--I think a lot of people would struggle with weighing 300+ much more than I do, because I don't struggle with it much. I don't look or feel 300+, but I know I'm not healthy and you could look at me and say, "Dude, drink a diet Coke or something.")
Big event for this weekend: I get to visit the dentist tomorrow. Yeah. Feel the excitement!
- Broadcasting live from:The 715
- Blowing out tweeters with:Franz Ferdinand - Walk Away
Eyes, boring a way through me
Paralyse, controlling completely
Now there is a fire in me
A fire that burns
This fire is out of control
I'm going to burn this city
Burn this city
This fire is out of control
I'm going to burn this city
Burn this city
This fire is out of control
I'm going to burn this city
Burn this city
This fire is out of control
I'm going to burn it, I'll burn it
I, I, I'll burn it down
Eyes, burning a way through me
Overwhelm, destroying so sweetly
Now, there is a fire within me
A fire that burns
This fire is out of control
I'm going to burn this city
Burn this city
This fire is out of control
I'm going to burn this city
Burn this city
This fire is out of control
Then I, I'm out of control
And I burn,
Oh, how I burn for you
Burn, oh how I burn for you
Burn, how I
Burn, how I
Burn, oh how I...
This fire is out of control,
I'm gonna burn this city,
Burn this city...
* * * * *
5 questions
1. Why is Jimmie moving?
2. Where is Jimmie moving?
3. Radio or no radio?
4. How did Jimmie's diet go?
5. Where are Jimmie's friends?
* * * * *
5.
The easy answer is "not here." That is, only two or three people that I don't work with and aren't related to that I talk to more than once a month live near Eau Claire. Most of my time spent with friends in this area has been a waste--pointless drinking, useless dating--but the handful still up here are pretty cool. Sara tries to make me laugh, although she only texts me after 9pm and usually reminds me of the reasons why I never made it through school: homework and exams. Icky. College. But she's cool people. Joe is my only drinking buddy that isn't Nick, who is my cousin. So that's Eau Claire. Small town, right down to zoning plans and pothole-filled streets.
The harder answer is that they're fairly condensed within a box from Madison to Milwaukee to Chicago to Ottawa (IL) and everything inbetween. Madison is an obvious place to have a lot of people to hang out with, right? Three of my four best friends live in this box.
Old box = Rice Lake - Ladysmith - Cadott - Eau Claire.
New box = Madison - Milwaukee - Chicago - Ottawa.
Of course, there's a hell of a lot more people in southeastern Wisconsin/northeastern Illinois than Rusk/Chippewa/Eau Claire/Barron counties.
That answers that. Minneapolis is another place where I have four or five good friends.
* * * * *
4.
It didn't go anywhere; I refuse to eat beef and I only drink diet pop. I drink much more water and only skip some fruits most days. I cook way more than I did before. My problem has been and always will be the fact that I drink a lot of (fat-free) milk. Well, that and I'm not very active. Even in that regard, I've just been walking more lately.
I topped out at 319 pounds. Felt gross. I get reminded daily by anyone in my life that I'm not slim and some (my dad) are harsher about it than others (my mom). Whereas my dad makes a point in every conversation to say he never topped 200, my mom just tells me to go take a walk and cook some decent food.
I bottomed out at about 294. I'm sitting right at 300 right now. If I can get to 200 or 220 next year I'll be pretty happy. I think the BMI requires me to be about 154 pounds to be considered healthy, but the BMI is full of shit. When I was 175 there was absolutely nothing to me--I was knocked over by stiff breezes. Plus being like half of my weight would make me feel weak. The advantage of being fat is that most people won't fight you, and getting through a crowd is a lot easier because people fall over. Of course, if you're avoiding contact, it kind of sucks, but people tend to bounce off of you when you're fat, which is kind of cool.
Anyways. What was the question? Oh yeah. Diet. I definitely am not following the guidelines of the old diet, but I'm also not making horrible food decisions time after time again either. I ate french fries like three times this week, but only part of the box. Maybe 1.5 boxes of french fries.
* * * * *
3.
Let me be honest, radio has been the past, present, and near future of my life. I'm having a hard time quitting it because 80% of the time I really enjoy it, 19% of the time I only kind of enjoy it, and 1% of the time I'm bitter about working at a radio station. Compare that with the 1% of the time I'm happy doing a real job (construction, retail, whatever), 19% of the time I find the positives in it and keep working and 80% of the time where I know I'd be happier doing something else. In other words, how in the hell could I quit radio? It's not perfect, it pays like crap, jobs are being cut daily from radio stations much larger than mine... and yet I really, really enjoy it. The fact I'm still at a radio station is mostly because I fit like silly putty into any gap.
The far future will probably not be radio, but I'm not thinking that far ahead. My dream really isn't to be this guy in some big city playing radio guy. It won't happen with the lack of radio jobs available and the fact that in probably five years my job will be managing syndication if I'm still in radio. Not on the distribution end, either.
If I stay here, in Eau Claire, good things can happen with radio. There's a little room for advancement and the only thing compromising it is that I may never get full-time status in this city, either here or at any other ownership group. As long as sports are airing on one of the stations I'm a part of, I'll always enjoy what I do here, because I'm pretty good at it and I like making it sound good.
* * * * *
2.
Tough question. Where will I move? I usually try to put a number on it. Last week, I would've said I don't know. This week, I'm going to say I'll be staying in Eau Claire if I can find a short-term or month-to-month lease, but I won't be here beyond the summer unless something employement-wise changes (I get better work either here or somewhere else). Last week, I would've admitted to moving away from Eau Claire in January, but this week, I'm probably just going to wait until next summer and re-evaluate where my life is.
See, I don't have any huge ambition. I don't have any wild dreams. I just want to pay the bills, and that's about all I need to do. There's no college hopes, no interest in having kids or a family... I'm content to just hang around and do whatever seems like fun. It's not very exciting, and it doesn't make people proud. But let me tell you, doing nothing is everything you'd think it could be.
Although the annual trip to Manchester, Tennessee and winter trips to anywhere (this year, I traded New Orleans/Arizona in for Legoland and Chicago) makes things more exciting.
* * * * *
1.
Easy. I don't like my current apartment and hate having roommates, especially a younger brother. I can say without a doubt that I've met one person so far I could live with, and that scenario will never play out.
The other reason is impatience. By the time I get done chasing jobs in other cities, I'll realize that most of what I want job-wise is right in front of me, except the pay sucks. Because it sucks, it can't get any worse (assuming I keep this job) and can only get better.
* * * * *
Other questions:
Fill them in below... this was kind of fun.
2008: CC-Eau Claire/Target
2009: CC-???/???
Yay for seasonal work.
--
I want to know why a household in Eau Claire, Wisconsin cannot even have the option of picking up FSN-Wisconsin. We instead are subjected to FSN-North to watch Minnesota sports, even though we are more than an hour away from Minnesota and our city is in Wisconsin.
It may sound crazy that anyone in Wisconsin wants the option, even if they have to pay for it, to watch Milwaukee Bucks and Wisconsin Badgers sports. However, even on your pay tier, you offer FSN-Southwest and FSN-Northeast. Is Eau Claire in the southwest or northeast? No. Eau Claire is in Wisconsin. And somehow, we have no access to FSN-Wisconsin.
I trust you'll do nothing about this problem, and when I drop your service in one month I'll be sure to let my friends know about the installation hassles, the billing rates going up each month because you re-name your movie channel packages, and how rude your technicians and customer service reps have been in handling any loss in service I've had in the last year. When I opt for a service beyond basic channels, I'll be mounting a dish on the side of my house, as even the slightest thunderstorm affects my digital cable I get from you way more than any interruption I've ever had with a dish.
Not being able to have a single channel in a city in Wisconsin that deals with Wisconsin sports is a small issue, but it's the straw that broke the camel's back. Thanks for your lousy service, and I hope your monopoly on northwestern Wisconsin is taken away by better competition.
--a very unhappy customer
Is it weird to say that I'm happy that John McCain lost, but I'm also disappointed that Barack Obama won? Despite the fact that voter records will indicate I voted for Obama, it really came down to "who keeps John McCain out of the White House?" Trust me, I would've voted for Mitt Romney or Mike Huckabee over Barack Obama in a heartbeat. If Huckabee had been nominated, I might have volunteered for a campaign for the first time since Mark Green's governor bid a couple of years ago here in Wisconsin. (My least favorite politician in the world just might be Jim Doyle). I don't really get behind political candidates all that much, but I have to admit, I was a bit unsettled at half a million people chanting and filling in the words for Barack Obama last night. Tens of millions of voters are all in step and tune with a politician... it just kind of makes me nervous.
That whole time last night, I just kept thinking, wow. This isn't a president. This is a cross between a rock star, a celebrity, a fireman, a drill sergeant, a motivational speaker, and a big band-era crooner. You can't touch this guy without angering the majority of people. I'm saving some of the text messages from last night. I won't even put names here. These are actual text messages I received last night (unedited; the spelling errors are how they were sent):
The Sad:
-Aww well better luck next time for us i gess. Mccain wasnt the bes choice mabe
-I didnt think we had much of a shot ne ways but im still kinda sad
The Bitter:
-We are F****D
-Hahaha screw this I'M moving to CANADA
-I voted like you did, Jimmy, but I don't feel good about it
The In-Your-Face:
-HA HA F*** U U LOST
-Obamabamabamabama not I'm old as f***
-Next time U shuldnt vt if ur gona vt for mccane
(same as above)-OK u vtd for obama fnlly ur getn smart
-If you voted for Mccane you suck jimmy jim
The Happily Celebrating:
-OBAAAAA MA!
-Yea we has a BLACK MAN for PREZ! (sent by a white guy, just so we're clear... he wasn't trying to be racist, he was legitimately happy)
-BARACK AND ROLL
-OBAMA! OBAMA! YES WE CAN!
-Yup yup yup finally some1 I like wins
The You Did What?:
-Thats funny how u got kicked out of the polls or almost
-Jimmy finally voting the right way? Some day you might even root for a decent team! Go Cubs :)
The Disconcerting:
-take tht u mcane peice of sh** (last word was even spelled incorrectly)
-Change starts now are you part of it?
-It's the beginning not the end!!!!!
I'm just hand-picking several that came in last night. My inbox is full of people telling me how stupid I am that I "voted" for McCain. I didn't know that my colors shone that brightly, but I gathered that at work, around my friends, or around people in general that if you're not for Obama you must most certainly be one of the idiots that worship and adore George W Bush (and that is scarier than millions of people mouthing the words "Yes We Can" in unison last night). I mean, I've been labeled immediately as someone who doesn't get it or isn't that smart. "We won by so much! How could you even vote for John McCain?"
Well, I wouldn't have been the only one, you know. I think the popular vote was 52%-46% or so? That means that there were a lot of people being drowned out by the louder voice, which happened to be the youthful, energetic, and passionate Obama base. People would have you believe this is a complete landslide. I mean, really, projections were dead on for this election (6% margin of victory), and it definitely was on my mind when I voted. Electoral college says Obama won by more than double, but the electoral college is a hilariously fun idea that somehow managed to make it into law. I don't think you can simply elect someone by popular vote either, and our system is certainly interesting. But why should someone who wins a state by 40 votes win all 10 or 11 of that state's electoral votes? At least break it down like Nebraska or Maine and maybe give a few of your electoral votes the old way, and then break the rest down by congressional district. That would certainly make things more interesting and would make campaigning a lot more difficult for the new-age precision campaigning.
Anyways.
I would've never voted for McCain anyways. I was going to write someone in, but nobody came to mind as I stood at the ballot box. I heard all day yesterday how if I didn't know who I was voting for when I got there, I should've just stayed home. To be honest, I was really hoping for a long line so I would have time to think, but in my ward the long line was gone by the time I arrived. I know, I've had two years to decide on this election, but in the end my desire to say no to McCain (who would've been an awful president, and Palin an even worse vice president... seriously, what the hell was that all about?) was stronger than my gut feeling that Obama definitely isn't for me.
But hey, I know I wasn't the only one who turned in a ballot that went (D) for president, (R) everywhere else. I skipped on voting for any unopposed Democrat. Basically, the only other race on my ballot was the Jeff Smith vs token Republican one, and I voted token Republican. I really dislike Jeff Smith for some reason. Almost as much as I disliked Tammy Baldwin. Not even close to as much as I dislike Jim Doyle.
Hell, I don't even consider myself the average conservative. I'm poor, don't go to church and don't have a family. Middle class seems reserved for those who can afford to live it (not saying I don't live lavishly; I am typing this from my own computer on my own paid-for internet bill that isn't behind in my own apartment with rent paid in full four days early powered by electricity that was paid a week and a half early). I typically vote slightly more R than D, depending on who I actually like. One other guy I really liked in an election was Tom Clauder, mayor of Fitchburg. The Democrat candidate measured out the distance from Fitchburg's place to vote, to the legal point where he could put signs in front of a public building, and had greeters on his behalf shake peoples' hands as they headed into the polls. Shady tactics, no?
I'm going to remain extremely skeptical of this president. I'm kind of hoping for change in 2012, a new kind of conservative to step forward and chuck the old politics for a new brand of economic and social reform. To be honest, I'm hoping the most for a Libertarian candidate that isn't a complete lunatic, because THAT is where I would vote if I were able to waste my vote on something that was a lost cause.
That's the last I have to say for now on the matter. It wasn't a vote for Obama, just a vote against McCain. I can't stand the old politics. I can't wait, really, for 2012. If another McCain becomes the nominee (how the hell did he get nominated this time, anyways? Did Michigan do this?), I won't vote for Obama in 2012. I will feel much better just throwing my vote away.
I take the coin, and as I'm about to flip it, one of the election officials stands up and grabs my arm. "Sir, you can't sell your vote," she explains tersely, looking at the quarter in my hand. I turned around and laughed at her.
"I just want to flip it. Watch."
I flipped the coin, let it land on the floor, looked at it, and looked back at her. She was still holding my arm, so I reached down, grabbed the coin, and threw it back to the generous man. She let go of my arm and stormed off, and one of the guys in line laughed out loud. I nodded and spent about five minutes deciding who to vote for. Finally, I just started putting lines next to names (this is how we vote in Wisconsin) until I got to the presidential election.
To that point, I had voted R in every box, and voted down a thing where we would give the state government more money to provide health care for everyone in the state. See, if the government really wanted to do the health care thing, they could stop spending that money on other useless things. Why let them tax us more? Stupid.
Anyways, and this will avoid any future flaming, I voted for Obama. Wouldn't you know it, as soon as I put my iPod headphones back on, there was the short song by Broken Social scene, about putting down your bong and voting for Obama. Sweet. (I heard it live at Bonnaroo; had to have it. The second verse is "take a hit from the bong and vote for Obama"... not sure if that gives a clear indication of what to do, however).
So there. My ballot probably got shredded as soon as I left anyways.
